(with apologies to LCD Soundsystem)

Twitter, I love you
But you're bringing me down
Twitter, I love you
But you're bringing me down

Like a mob on a page
Acting out full of rage
Twitter, I love you
But you're bringing me down

Twitter, you're safer
But you're wasting my time
Our records all show
Most DM'd URLs were fine

But they battened you down
Gave the keys to the clowns
To the SMDBs
And the celebriteeees

Twitter, you're perfect
Please don't change a thing
Your vulture owners
Convinced you're a sure thing

And so the boring collect
I mean all disrespect
In scheduled hashtag chats
I can't filter at all

Twitter, I love you
But you're freaking me out
There's barely a twist
But plenty of of shout

Like an echo chamber
Of revealing behaviour
Twitter, I love you
But you're freaking me out

Twitter, I love you
But you're bringing me down
Twitter, I love you
But you're bringing me down

Like a creepy stalker
With the keys to my locker
But I gave them to you
So guess I'm the clown

And oh
Take me off your mailing list
For kids who think it still exists
Yes, for those who think it still exists

Maybe I'll follow
And maybe you won't
Maybe you'll follow
And maybe I won't

Maybe you'll follow
Maybe I'll follow
And just maybe you'll retweet

And oh
Maybe mother told you true
And there'll always be something there for you
And you'll never be alone

But maybe she's wrong
Maybe I'm right
And just maybe she's wrong

Maybe she's wrong
And maybe I'm right
And if so, is there
If so